


The Ghost of You

by ithicablau



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Break Up, Brief Smut, Don't Read This, Drunk Josh, I'm Sorry, M/M, NO physical abuse, Sad Tyler, even when you think it might, it doesnt get better, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:07:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithicablau/pseuds/ithicablau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did he leave me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> This is not good. This is very very bad. Please do not read this if you want to be happy.

Tyler opened his eyes in the darkness. Everything ached. Everything. There's no physical reason why, he just hurt. He rolled onto his side in the otherwise empty bed, to glace at his clock.  
1:07 a.m.  
He'd managed to stay asleep for a whole half hour. Falling asleep had gotten less difficult thanks to exhaustion, staying asleep was the problem now. His dreams were under fire. His head was battered night after night, with images he either didn't want to see, or images he held dear but couldn't bear to see anymore.

Exhausted as he was, he knew he wouldn't be falling asleep again tonight. He sat up and turned the lamp beside his bed on before rubbing his arm against his puffy eyes. They burned.  
He sat staring down at his clasped hands, then he ran one of those hands through his hair. The empty place beside him on the bed beckoned for his attention, demanded it. His brow creased as he grabbed the pillow from that side and carefully, gently pressed his face into the cool soft object. Almost unwillingly, he inhaled deeply and then let out a nearly silent choked sob. He knew the scent was already gone. It had been for days. He would have bottled that smell if he could have. But it was gone.  
The last bit of proof inside this house that Josh had ever even been here was gone.  
Tyler clutched the pillow tighter. Bringing his knees up, he wanted to curl into himself so tightly that he ceased to exist. Tears were spilling silently at their own leisure. He was too tired for the heartwrenching, bone-wracking, full-body-experience-sobbing he'd been indulging in the past few nights. So the tears just fell and fell from his heavy eyes.  
He stayed like that for a while. Anxious thoughts came in and out of his head. Desperately he tried to think of something to distract himself.  
He could go for a drive. No, he was too tired, he'd end up killing himself or someone else.

     why did he leave me

He could make something to eat. No, it wouldn't stay down, knew it wouldn't.

     Why did he leave me?

He could listen to music. No. Right now, even that wouldn't help.

     WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?

Suddenly he grabbed his phone. He had deleted all of his and Josh's messages, but he still had his contact. They hadn't spoken since Josh left five days ago. He opened up a new chat. The three letters took way too long to type.

1:29  
Me:Hey.

1:33  
Jish<3: what do u want

Tyler's chest tightened.

1:33  
Me: I just can't sleep. I guess you can't either?

1:38  
Jish<3: Im out withj somenpeople

Wonderful. He was smashed.

1:38  
Me: oh. I miss you.

1:50  
Jish<3: we tsjled bout this aleardy

1:50  
Me: I know but I can change. I'll do whatever you want, honest. 

2:13  
Jish<3: you are not the one who needs to change.  
2:13  
Jish<3: don't text me again tyler.

The sudden coherence was jarring. Like he was trying really hard to get his point across. He let his phone drop into his lap. And cradled his face in his hands. He couldn't do this. He couldn't feel like this forever. He was going to fall the fuck apart.  
All he could think about was Josh at a bar somewhere in town, finding someone different, someone better. Pulling them close and whispering things in their ear he used to whisper to Tyler. Leading them to bathroom stall and fucking them stupid and cross-eyed.  
"Fuck..." Tyler whispered gripping his hair. He stood up and paced. He grabbed the towel off the hook behind his door, and walked to bathroom. After stripping naked, he got into the shower and turned it on. Cold water. He didn't care. He faced the spray head on with his eyes sealed shut.  
He'd built everything around Josh. Everything he did was with Josh in mind. All he'd ever tried to do was make him happy. He seemed happy most of the time. Most of the time. He was a little mean...sometimes. But it wasn't anything Tyler couldn't handle. Nothing that Tyler couldn't love away. He knew he could. But then Josh just up and left.  
***  
The whole thing had happened so quickly. Josh walked into the house that day and told Tyler he was leaving before beginning to gather his things. Tyler started begging and crying for all of ten seconds, before Josh stopped, turned to him, and gently placed his hands on either side of Tyler's face. His eyebrows were lowered but his eyes were softened by something. Pity, Tyler guessed now.  
"Stop. Listen to me," his voice was steady. Not overly kind, but not angry.  
Tyler's face was contorted trying to stop crying, his efforts thwarted by an occasional shuddering gasp. His eyes scanning Josh's face wildly.  
"I'm leaving, okay? I'm getting my things, and I'm walking out the door. That's it. There-there's no discussion. There's no fight or argument to be had. I'm just..leaving. Do you understand?"  
Tyler was shaking so hard he thought his bones might come apart. Why was this happening? What had he done?  
"Do you understand what I am saying Tyler?"  
Tyler nodded erratically, overcome by another unwelcomed sob. Josh's eyes traced Tyler's face one more time before he sat Tyler on the bed and finished what he'd started. And that was it. Just like Josh had said. He finished packing, while Tyler sat on the bed, silent and thankfully numb. The door shut behind him. And Tyler was alone.  
***  
Tyler had wound up sitting on the floor in the shower. Letting the cold water cut through him. He couldn't exactly register his discomfort but he was shivering.  
After a while, Tyler was back in his room drying himself off and pulling on some pajama pants. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his phone. Nothing new. He dropped the phone and sighed, choking on it when he heard his front door open. He stood up and froze. The door was locked, he knew he locked it. He heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. His heart was beating in his throat as the door opened and the intruder walked in.  
"Josh?" He sputtered.  
"Forgot t'leave my key here." he slurred back.  
"H-how did you get here? Did you drive here?"  
"Shhh-ut up." Josh staggered towards him wrapping his arms around Tyler who did not resist.  
"You're cold," Josh mumbled. Tyler buried his face into Josh's throat and felt tears stinging his eyes again as he inhaled that familiar scent.  
Tyler was confused. His mind was racing.  
Josh cupped his chin and crashed his mouth into Tyler's, feeding on his open mouth like a hoard of ants on a fallen baby bird. Tyler let it happen.  
Josh was here. He'd come back. Tyler felt himself being dipped back onto the bed and he let that happen too. Josh was removing his own clothes so Tyler wiggled out of his pajama pants. Josh's mouth was on his neck and chest, sucking angry purple marks into his skin. Tyler knew this wasn't how this was supposed happen. They should be talking, not engaging in foreplay. Josh should be sober. But he can't bring himself to stop it, not as long as he can feel Josh's mouth, and smell him, and hear his breaths.  
"Josh-ahh-I missed you."  
Josh grunted in response and stood up suddenly, severing contact and made Tyler squirm.  
"Got any lube left? Or did you use it all jacking off to me since I've been gone?" Josh laughed as he rifled through a drawer in Tyler's dresser.  
Tyler ignored the jab. Josh was drunk, that was all. He found what he was looking for and turned back towards Tyler, as he rubbed some of the lube onto his cock. He grabbed Tyler's ankles and and pulled him to the edge of the bed so his ass hung off the side and then flipped him over. Josh leaned over him trailing kisses up his spine.  
"You missed me?" he punctuated it with a bite on the back of Tyler's neck.  
"Yes, Joshie I did. You know I did."  
"Mm. You were always so good to me. I never deserved it."  
Before, Tyler could disagree, two lubed fingers entered him and began pumping in and out of him at breakneck speed. He clung to the sheets, and moaned into the matress as his prostate was abused.  
"I-oh ffffuck-I want you, Josh."  
Josh obliged pulling his fingers out and then slamming into him, groaning as he bottomed out.  
He dragged his nails down Tyler's back as he found a rhythm. Tyler worked his arm under his own body to touch himself.  
Josh leaned over him, panting in his ear and slowing his thrust a little.  
"You were so good for me, Tyler. So good."  
Tyler would have preferred to have this conversation when both of them could see straight and he was about to say so but Josh continued.  
"So fucking good. You could have saved me if I let you. You're not even aware of how much bullshit you put up with. I really wish I could have loved you."  
Tyler closed his eyes and buried his face into the matress. Even now, even still, he didn't want it to stop.  
"I had to get away from you. For your sake. Didn't turn out s'good. But I tried."  
He was quiet after that save for a few minutes later when he groaned as he pulled out and finished onto Tyler's back. He picked up Tyler's towel and wiped it off roughly before turning Tyler over and getting in the bed with him. Tyler hated himself. But he loved Josh more. He let himself be scooped up and embraced. He let Josh's lips trace the shell of his ear. Let his hands wander all over his body.  
Josh passed out soon after. Tyler turned over and wrapped his arms around him. He pressed his face into his shoulder and listened to him breathe.  
If he could just hold on. If he could just hold on tight enough Josh wouldn't leave. He could keep him here. He could make him want to stay. Tyler's eyes got heavy. Josh's warmth allowing sleep to return to him. 

 

Tyler woke up alone. He'd held on as tightly as he could.

Josh left anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I fucking told you not to read it.
> 
> Also I hid a super unimportant thing. It has to do with the song the title is from. Can you find it? (:


End file.
